We brought home our second son through adoption five years ago. He's brought us more joy (and broken things) than we could have ever dreamed. I would never want to go back to the "us" without our boy. But mercy have these five years taught me a lot. Not just about boys, or racial tension that still exists in this country, or trusting Grace when the hard-to-answer questions come, but about how little I understood regarding the depth of our connection to his first momma.
Four years after bringing Titus home, we brought our third son home through adoption and my world was wrecked. Wrecked, I tell you. I won't go into the details here. Most of it is very personal to us, Deacon, and the beautiful woman that gave him life. But suffice it to say, there's no way I could ever be the same.
Adoption...a gift of God's grace to me. He does these things, you know? We think His plans have one purpose and then we see His fingerprints all over our hearts and realize maybe His main purpose was to mold and shape us (me) to look more like Him. Go figure! I'm not there yet, obv. I need this shaping...still.
Enough about me/us. Let's talk about this year's August Days: An Adoption Celebration fundraising tee shirt design!
Fresh off of our second adoption (only a short 9 months ago), the design of our Together Tee this year is a visual depiction of what God has been teaching us over the past few years (and maybe what I've been most receptive to being taught the past 10 months...just the truth, sisters).
You may have noticed that we replaced the "o" in "together" with a triangle. Confused? I'd love to briefly (and humbly) explain. Keep in mind there are much more knowledgeable adoptive parents that could speak a lot more eloquently about this subject. I know better at this point than to act like I'm an expert. But from one (still-learning) adoptive momma, here's what this triangle means to our family and many more.
The Together Tee has a design that is particularly meaningful to adoptive families. This simple triangle depicts the three-sided relationship between the birth parents, adoptive parents, and adoptees.
1) Birth Parents
Whether the birth parents are known or unknown by the adoptive family, they will always play an incredibly important role in the life of the adoptee and hold a position of honor. The adoptee will forever be connected to his/her birth parents whether through cultural heritage, inherited traits, etc. This is where their story began and it can be celebrated and treasured.
2) Adoptive Parents
I can speak from personal experience that God does a work in adoptive parents' hearts that may seem impossible. He knits our hearts to our adoptive children as if we had carried them for nine months. And as a result, he knits our hearts to their birth parent(s) in an unspeakable way. The degree to which I love each of our sons' first mommas is something I never dreamed possible. Again, grace upon grace.
The most important part of the triad, and the ones that bind us all together are the adoptees. These children will forever be united to both families and will spend much of their lives learning to cherish their full story. Their love for both their birth parent(s) and adoptive parents will be unique and neither is in competition with the other.
Although both of our adoptions were domestic and we have the opportunity to communicate with and love our sons' birth moms, the adoption triad is not unique to families adopting domestically. This triad is also just as important a part of international adoptions. It has been a joy of mine to watch dear friends that have adopted internationally, and have never had the opportunity to meet their children's birth parent(s), continually honor the life, love, and decision of their son/daughters birth mothers.
This calling. What an undeserved privilege. Here's to continuing to learn to love and serve well.
Want a Together Tee for yourself, your man, your dear sister friend, or a beloved Birth Mom? Get yours HERE!